I am not trying to judge.
I have heard this statement made a number of times in the recent past, from a variety of folks.
It is as if people want to cover their tracks right off the bat, quickly throw in the disclaimer, before they innocently say what they admire, or do not admire. Or, what they are concerned about, or not concerned about. You get the picture.
I like the old saying: If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it at all. I want to shake the hand of the first person that uttered those words. Without a doubt, though, he or she had intentions of teaching someone to be diplomatic, cautious with their words, but not to the point they apologized before issuing an innocent opinion from their lips.
If we are not slanderous. If we put the best interests of others in the forefront, and we are being the best that we can be, why are we so focused on making the nervous statement, “I am not trying to judge.”
I know you aren’t judging, I would rather hear what you have to say without trying to figure out why you are making an excuse for it.
Big sigh. Am I the only one?
2 thoughts on “I Am Not Trying To Judge”
You are definitely NOT the only one! I’ve heard that alot too and that little disclaimer is usually followed by some very critical comments. Throwing in the disclaimer that’s make it o.k., nor does it mean you’re not judging. There is such a thing as stating one’s opinion without lamblasting others… it can be done. If we’d only just speak in love…
Does the statement need to be made at all? If the comments should not be made to begin with (condemning, derogatory), how does “I am not judging” help? If the statement is made prior to voicing a carefully said dislike or like – for example, in caring terms, why muddy it up with explaining it away?
I agree with you, “just speak in love”…